NEWSLETTER #12: How I Built a Business True to Myself. My Story

Surprisingly enough, I feel awkward in the spotlight.

I always have. I loved theatre in high school, but not for the reasons you may think. That was about playing a part. Letting people see the real me actually always felt a little scary. People often find this surprising because, I am seemingly outgoing, even comical. I’m comfortable in a crowd, but letting someone “behind the curtain?” Well, that’s another story. And yet, here I am, ready to do just that. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now: share my story, especially how it relates to my journey in marketing, branding, and why I’ve developed such a deep passion for helping small business owners.

So here it is… I’m letting you all behind my curtain.

And just so you know, it still feels awkward.

Back in high school my principal, Sister Andrea, once told me I should go into advertising. At the time, that suggestion felt completely out of left field. I was a curious kid, full of varied interests. I loved drama, writing, languages, art history, architecture, math, and creating new things. I think I was an unusual kid in that sense. I remember finding a college textbook on psychology in the school library, taking it back to my dorm at my Catholic all-girls boarding school, and devouring it every chance I got. The next month, I was onto reading a book on the Kennedy family.

I loved learning and I loved information.

But beyond that, I was also constantly trying to hide the effects of a lot of physical and emotional childhood trauma. By the time I entered 9th grade, I had changed schools 11 times. And no, I wasn’t a military kid, I was simply a child born into a highly dysfunctional immigrant family. Despite all the chaos, I still managed to score 1400 on my SATs. Not too shabby.

Once I graduated high school and entered Rutgers University, I wasn’t equipped to handle the “real world” by myself. I started off with courses in psychology, journalism, Greek, and the like.

But then, just like that, I fell in love, dropped out, and started a family.

Despite having no real desire to “climb the corporate ladder,” I found myself in corporate-type roles.

In my late 20s, a dear friend introduced me to the world of finance where I worked for a mutual fund service center. I’d go on to not only obtain my securities licenses but also teach others how to pass them at two different organizations.

Later, I had the exciting opportunity to be a part of a team that helped launch a bank. As Client Services Director, I oversaw marketing, websites, advertising, and created a call center from the ground up to generate leads for the financial advisors. It was an amazing experience, and I’m grateful for it. Yet, something always felt missing… an intangible quality I couldn’t quite put my finger on. That “je ne sais quoi” was missing, leaving me feeling unfulfilled.

I learned so much about myself and what came naturally to me: digging deep, asking the right questions, viewing problems from different angles, and motivating teams to tackle challenges. I found joy in building people up, diving into the details, analyzing data, and anticipating the next best move.

What stood out the most, though, was witnessing the “light bulb” moment when I taught someone something new that sparked a breakthrough. That was pure magic. Above all, I loved seeing people overcome their obstacles and emerge victorious.

This was all good stuff… but still, when it came to talking about myself, I felt jitters. It was certainly tied to some self esteem issues birthed out of a difficult childhood. Most of us carry some version of this.

For example, my old-school Portuguese dad had no interest in seeing his daughter pursue a college degree. At one of my high school parent-teacher conferences, my math teacher, Sister Vladimyra, proudly informed my dad that I was doing exceedingly well in trigonometry. He replied in his thick Portuguese accent, “Yeah, but can she cook?“

I was mortified.

Despite the lack of support, I found my path. I flourished. I trusted my instincts. And then there was that small voice inside me reassuring me I had these unique gifts for a reason.

But there were still obstacles ahead. Lots of them. Like the one on that fateful day in 2017 when I got laid off.

I confidently thought, “I’ve amassed so many valuable skills; I’ll quickly get scooped up by another organization.” So I decided to take two weeks off to do absolutely nothing. Just pure rest and relaxation. But then when I tried to get back into the rat race, no one was letting me in! I was astounded. I would have two, three, even four interviews, but no offers. I was 49, brimming with skill and value, and nobody rolled out the red carpet.

Was it ageism? Was it the salary ask? Was it fate? Whatever the reason, it became clear: the time had come. I would finally plant my own flag. At last, I was going to have creative freedom and build something valuable my way.

In 2018, at 50 years old, iSellSocial was born.

But in the blink of an eye, I found myself recreating the very structures I had managed to escape! I did exactly what I had done under the framework of others: build a system, gather a team, fill the pipeline, analyze, and improve.

And it worked. I quickly surpassed the six-figure milestone. But soon after, that familiar feeling of unfulfillment set in again. As my organization grew, I became increasingly detached from the finished product. How could this be?

I had inadvertently created a mini-corporate prison for myself.

I recall the words of my brother, “You don’t quit until you’re happy.” And it’s true, in all aspects of my life.

And so, I pivoted. I shifted the focus of my business to something I knew was essential to business owners and something I could be more intimately involved in: branding. I truly understand the power of staying grounded in who you are and in the core of your vision.

For small business owners, especially, this is crucial. Because, when you’re building something from scratch, the naysayers and “well-meaning” people in your life will start sharing their opinions and “advice.” And it’s easy to be swept away when analyzing all this “data.”

Don’t let the peanut gallery deflate your dreams.

Stay solid in your foundation and vision. Build a brand that stands firm amidst the noise, anchored by the clarity of your purpose. Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword; it’s about being transparent, showing the real you (flaws and all) and integrating that into everything you do.

Running a profitable “system” was not enough for me. For me, it’s not just about making money. It’s about creating meaningful impact. I’m grateful for every step of the journey, including the detours, missteps, and moments of frustration. Each taught me invaluable lessons and shaped who I am today.

Even now, stepping into the spotlight still feels awkward, but I’ve learned that growth often happens in those uncomfortable moments. Embrace the discomfort. It means you’re on the right path, and your authentic self is finally taking center stage.

And let me tell you, there’s nothing more freeing than running a business that truly reflects who you are. It’s better than I ever imagined.

Stay true to who you are and what you stand for, and the rest will follow.

It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.

Every business owner’s journey is unique, shaped by individual experiences, challenges, and aspirations. For those just starting out, it can feel overwhelming… the long hours, trial and error, and the frustration of not seeing immediate results. But every small step, every challenge faced, is an essential part of the process. Success is rarely linear; it’s filled with twists, turns, and moments of doubt, but it’s also rich with growth and learning.

If you’re in the early stages, struggling to find your footing, trust that your story is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to. Every misstep is a valuable lesson, and each moment of uncertainty offers a chance to gain clarity and insight.

If you’d like to talk about your journey with me, here’s a link to my calendar:

https://calendly.com/ibrandstrategist/meet

This newsletter is originally published to LinkedIn.
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